birth artwork

Hi,

My name is Kati Greaney and I was passed some information about your book and project from my dear friend Sarah Levitan.  I would like to participate in your project and have some art and stories to contribute.  I have had 2 very powerful birth experiences that have given me strength and power beyond imagination.  On September 8 of this year I lost my son Cedar at 37 weeks.  I have been processing and healing from this experience through creating art that I would like to share with you (I attached some images in this email).  Here is a short version of his story:

In September 2017 I gathered together with 4 of my closest girl friends just days before my due date to bless my belly, my baby and my house for the beautiful healthy birth of my second son.  I know now that my baby had already died earlier that day, but in our blissful ignorance we sent his spirit into the next realms in a joyful ceremony. That evening I realized that he hadn't been moving and the next day doctors confirmed that there was no heartbeat.  Hurricane Irma was brewing off of the south coast and I drew strength from my grandmother whose name was also Irma and she had experienced 9 miscarriages in her life which she never spoke of.  I could simply not imagine birthing a dead baby.  After 9 months of planning and visualizing every detail of the birth, it simply felt impossible.  The women in my life surrounded me and offered me deep wisdom and I summoned the confidence and power that I needed.  We went to the hospital and my friends had gone before me and decorated the space to make it feel like home.  They built an altar with my grandmothers photo and flowers, they covered the walls with tapestries and strung christmas lights over the medical equipment.  My closest friend Sarah is a nurse midwife and she arranged everything with the hospital.  I arrived and my contractions were induced.  I entered a trance like state where I had no fear.   I had the perfect birth that I had envisioned for many months and when I was handed my son I began to scream and wail in a pitch that connected me to the ages.  I felt the cries of women in caves and huts, homes and hospitals throughout time.  I felt initiated into the the unknowable pain of mothers who have lost children. I handed our son to my husband who held him for hours.  He rocked him and sang songs to him and studied every inch of his perfect body. He climbed into bed and the three of us slept as a complete family.  In the morning the nurse brought a box for his body.  She made handprints and footprints for us and let me cut some of his hair to have.  We then placed him in the box and put flowers in his tiny hands.  His skin was beginning to peel and his lips were dark purple.  We carried him out of the hospital in a procession with my husband singing softly down the hallway as I silently walked in my bathrobe.  We passed rooms filled with happy families welcoming in new life.  We walked to a man wearing a suit standing in front of a van waiting to take his body.  I began to scream again and my knees let out. The days passed and the grief came in waves.  I committed myself to healing.  I felt that I was doing this healing work not just for myself but for so many women throughout time.  I slowly moved his changing table to the garage and gave away the diapers I had bought.  I pumped milk until it dried up and I felt my womb begin to close. We had to explain to our 3 year old son that baby brother was not coming and we don't know why but that life and death are a big mystery.  I always had so much fear around death and now I do not.  I have held life and death in my body now and I have felt their beauty and power.  I have deep gratitude to my son Cedar.  He continues to be the greatest teacher in my life. 

I would love to have the opportunity to learn more about this project and see how I might be able to get involved.  I work as a photographer and documentary film  maker, so I would also be happy to help with any media formats that might expand the project further.  Please feel free to call me to discuss at  314-456-7895.